Hempel Consulting

“A hot dog at the ballpark is better than steak at The Ritz.”                       - Humphrey Bogart

Recently I had the pleasure of enjoying a beer and a dog at the Rockies vs. Cubs game. On the surface this may not seem like a big deal to you but it was an event of gigantic proportions.

For the first time in over 10 years I was able to join thousands of other baseball fans in the ritual of beer and hot dogs.

I arrived at the stadium and tackled a very nice usher and asked, frantically, “is the gluten-free stand open yet!?” After several walkie talkie exchanges I discovered it was located just outside Section 147 at Coors Field. YES!!!

With great anticipation, I walked quickly and arrived at a small cart with very plain signage labeled “gluten free.” There was a line. A LONG line of people gleefully ordering gluten-free goodies. To my surprise, they offer a variety of gluten-free items including beer, hot dogs and hamburgers with a BUN, pretzels, and cookies too. It was as if I had landed in Willy Wonka’s fantasy world … would it be wrong to order TWO beers and TWO dogs?

As I got close to the front of the line, a nice gentleman behind the grill, passed a hot dog to the woman ahead of me and she jumped for joy, literally, saying “I haven’t had one of these in 20 years!” Thanks to Aramark and the Colorado Rockies for bringing back the ultimate ballpark experience!

Holy Cow. It’s been 117 days since I last posted. Shameful!

It’s not that I haven’t had a million topics to write about … reunited with my amazing kindergarten teacher, great book on Ben Franklin, walking 40 miles for breast cancer, the inspiration of three women in their 70s … or the death of my best friend. It’s this last topic that rendered me unable to feel creative (and brave) enough to write anything.

My life changed in an instant. Saturday he was catching a Frisbee with the fervor he’s had since puppyhood. By Monday morning he was on his way to doggie heaven. Damn. It’s every dog owners’ worst fear and now I know it’s a moment for which you can never prepare.

So there you sit clutching his collar with your eyes nearly swollen shut from crying and you think you’ll never recover. But along come a group of friends who blow you away with their love and support. It was like being swept into a game of Candyland where everything is simple and loving and sweet. They shared memories of their life with Cutter, they suggested ways to cope – brilliant ideas only those who have lost their best friend could offer, they called crying to share their own sadness, they sent flowers, they wrote poems, they posted photos, they hugged me and they kept me busy. Thanks to them, I have recovered.

Cutter was an amazing animal. Or, maybe he was something else entirely. My Mom says he was a human in a dog’s body. And I believe he was an angel put on earth in the form of a dog. Whatever his true form, I only know one thing for sure and that is that I am lucky to have had him in my life.

Cutter brought me intense joy and he escorted me, with unconditional love, through some of the most challenging times of my life. So I guess he decided it was time for this little fledgling to fly (and blog) on her own. I hope he is right.

Today I made chili and WOW does my house smell fantastic. The dogs are all over the stove like those beagles sniffing luggage at the airport.

The recipe I used is none other than Famous Hempel Chili. In retrospect, it really should be called Famous Helen’s Chili. Helen is my Mom and she cooks from scratch. Me? I cook from recipes carefully following them line by line.

Herein lies the problem. How does a family pass down its recipes when they aren’t even written down!?

In order to combat this challenge I’ve armed myself with pen and paper, measuring cups and spoons, and lightening-quick reaction time. Next, I follow Helen around the kitchen while she makes my favorite dishes. She throws in a dash of this, and a pinch of that, then a dollop of the other thing … and my goal is singular in it focus: get the measuring implement underneath whatever it is she’s pouring as quickly as possible in order to record said “recipe.”

One of my experiments in this regard produced the Famous Hempel Chili recipe. Of course Helen would correct me and say it’s not famous, because she only made it that way, one time. Alas.

Tonight I’m feeling compelled to share a little bit of family history and this scrumptious chili recipe with the world. Enjoy!

Hempel’s Famous Chili

1lb hamburger — browned with lots of salt and pepper
3 chopped onions — sauteed
1 red pepper
3 large garlic cloves

Add:
1 can of diced or crushed tomatoes
1 small can of tomato paste
2 cans of water (more during cooking as needed)

Add:
2 pinches of Chili Caribe (flakes)
4-8 tbsp. Chili Powder (more is better from Helen’s perspective)
1 Tbsp. Sugar
1 Tsp. Paprika
1 Bay Leaf
2 tsp. fresh ground Cumin (minimum)
1.5 tsp. fresh ground Basil (more if not fresh)

Simmer for two hours.

Add:
2-3 cans of beans — Pinto, Black and/or Kidney

Note: The beans can be added right away if it’s going to be eaten immediately. If you make the chili one day and serve the it the next, reheat the chili in the morning and then add the beans…simmer all day if possible.  Stir and add water as necessary.

PS: If you’re making this in volume (great for parties!), I strongly recommend wearing goggles when chopping the onions

Yesterday I had the pleasure of eating lunch with a marketing exec from Western Union. We had an interesting discussion about the power of corporate recruiters as brand soldiers. This group is an often-overlooked face to the outside world; a group of people who represent their brand to consumers every single day.

In today’s job market, the recruiting process touches hundreds of consumers every day. Each one of these touch points is an opportunity to acquire a customer or create a brand advocate. Right?

Well, maybe. Recruiters are focused on finding good talent and they are primarily the buyer, less so the seller. Even when they do sell it’s about a specific job, not as much about the company or its products. Regardless, any job candidate coming in to contact with a company today is a prospective customer. Unfortunately, with online job applications and other automated systems that help recruiters, the brand experience for job seekers is usually lackluster. Often it’s very impersonal and leaves a sour taste with those excited by the prospect of working for a company they admire.

We concluded that we’re guilty as marketers for overlooking this ‘low-hanging fruit’ opportunity to market to a captive audience. Wouldn’t it be amazing if job recruiting had a strong branding component built right into the process? One example that comes to mind is for someone applying to work at Starbucks. The recruiting process for that candidate could and should embody the same unique brand experience one has when buying a cup of coffee from a Starbucks store. Then, even if that person is not chosen for the job, they have been left with a positive feeling about the brand.

I just returned from the Denver County Court and WOW are they inefficient. Without a doubt, today’s experience made it to Lisa’s Top 10 List of How To Waste Taxpayer Dollars.

Last month I received a summons to appear in court because I had my dog, Cutter, at the park off leash, without his rabies tag. Guilty as charged! So off to court I go with evidence of vaccination and checkbook in hand. I expected to show up, turnover my documents, admit guilt and pay up.

Well, 90 minutes and seven interactions with six different people later, I was allowed to leave. Now in my estimation, if the court has to throw that many people at handling a crime, the resulting fine should be double the advertised rate. After all, I was the one who failed to manage my pooch properly and forced the court to intervene.

But nooooooo. It turns out that because I appeared in person I paid 50 percent less than the original fine, including court costs! If I had simply sent in my payment with proper documentation the cost would have been $120, end of story. Instead, I paid $66 and took up the time of two security guards, two court clerks, a city attorney, a magistrate and a finance manager. Absurdly inefficient, no?

Ok, now my head is spinning so here’s a proposal: Let law-breaking, dog owners mail in their docs and pay a fine of $75. If I fail to comply and have to appear in court, the minimum fine, regardless of guilt, will be double or $150. I’m willing to bet that the majority of offenders will comply and pay by mail. That means OPEX goes down and revenue goes up … hmmm, what a concept. Ok, it’s probably not that simple but c’mon, let’s focus our time, energy and tax dollars on issues that actually make a difference!

Rant over. Cutter on leash.

There are few things more difficult than going to the funeral of a close friend. Recently I attended the funeral for a remarkable man who died at the age of 50. Gulp. The eulogy, delivered by his best friend, was truly inspiring. He quoted a very powerful poem that I had never heard before called The Dash. The punchline is simply that what really matters is how you live your ‘dash,’ better known as the time between the two dates on your tombstone.

I now have a sticky note hanging from my computer screen that reads: Lisa Hempel 1966 -

It serves as a constant reminder to me that how I choose to live each day creates my dash. A dash that is completely unique to the life of Lisa Hempel. Pretty cool.

What I’ve found surprising is that I don’t feel compelled to create a dash that will make for a good eulogy when my time is up; I simply feel driven to live in the moment. And while that makes for a crazy-looking dash at times, I am thoroughly enjoying life and living without regret.

Thanks, Linda Ellis, for The Dash.

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars….the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they
say about how you spend your dash?

Some of my most memorable Valentine’s Day outings are the simple ones: Sharing take-out pizza while swooning over Sean Connery as 007; taking a long hike with Cutter followed by an extra-thick, strawberry milkshake at Peninsula Creamery; and, dining on the best Thai food in Palo Alto followed by a round of bowling.

This year I’ve done something outrageous to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I spent the day hiking the hills that encompass Lake Como, Italy, with Barack Obama. Yes, it’s true, even our fine president is entitled to a day of rest and bliss. Along our journey we stopped for an espresso at a quaint cafe overlooking the lake and, along with my friend Ouma, captured the moment on film.

I’ve always believed simple wins when it comes to celebrating romance but now that I’ve had a taste of the extravagant variety, I may be hooked. So for all of you who believe Valentine’s Day is just a contrived, Hallmark holiday, I beg to differ. Cupid is hard at work today and if you open your heart and let your imagination wander, you too may end up on a once-in-a-lifetime journey of joy and love.

The sun is setting and this warm, Colorado day is turning to night. My short sleeve shirt gave way to a turtleneck and thick socks. What to do now? Get on the computer? Seems like a crime but I’ll do it anyway. Just a peek.

And what to my surprise did I find? A beautiful poem by Maira Kalman.

I’m guessing that whether Democrat or Republican or neither you can find something in Ms. Kalman’s poem to make you smile. For me, I love the painting of butter. Butter is, after all, my favorite food group. And, the late, great Julia Child couldn’t envision a recipe where more butter didn’t mean much better.

So on this cool Saturday at dusk, I’m taking a moment to relish the virtues of butter and enjoy President Obama’s inauguration as seen through the eyes of Maira Kalman.

It is with much trepidation and great excitement I begin my blogging journey.

For two decades I’ve loved working behind the scenes, helping executives look great and sound smart on the world’s stage. For me, I just wanted to be Oz-that nondescript guy behind the curtain who makes sure the right levers are pulled at the just the right time. And so it goes that I spent my career working with rock stars and incredible companies, loving every minute of seeing their names in lights.

Now, blogging is not going to change my role as Oz. My greatest career joy is in helping you and your company achieve success. But, I do hope that by creating this ’stage’ I will be inspired to step out in front of the curtain from time to time to share my thoughts. I have no clue where this road will lead me, what or who I’ll encounter along the way (or if I’ll ever find the ruby slippers), I only know it’s inevitable I will learn a lot from the journey.

Bring it on!